What do people really know… September 22, 2010
Posted by erichaynes in Books I'm reading, Family Ministry, General, Spiritual Journey, Stories of MyLife.Tags: books, Family Ministry, Intimacy, Journey, people, Questions, Stories of MyLife
add a comment
Reading a book Per Petterson entitled, “Out Stealing Horses” and was intrigued by this quote, and how it impacts building relationships with the “normal” families that live on my street…
“People like it when you tell them things, in suitable portions, in a modest, intimate tone, and they think they know you, but they do not, they know about you, for what they are let in on are facts, not feelings, not what your opinion is about anything at all, not how what has happened to you and how all the decisions you have made have turned you into who you are. What they do is they fill in with their own feelings and opinions and assumptions, and they compose a new life which has precious little to do with yours, and that lets you off the hook. No-one can touch you unless you yourself want them to. You only have to be polite and smile and keep paranoid thoughts at bay, because they will talk about you no matter how much you squirm, it is inevitable, and you would do the same thing yourself.”
How well do you and I know the families on our street? How well do they know us? Are we okay with that?
Eric
The Human Face January 16, 2010
Posted by erichaynes in Books I'm reading, General, Leadership, Spiritual Journey, Stories of MyLife.Tags: books, Intimacy, Journey, leaders, Leadership, people, Spiritual Journey, Spiritual Parenting, spiritual transformation, Stories of MyLife
add a comment
As part of a reading group online, I have start reading The Elements of Story, by Francis Flaherty. After reading the first section, I realized that I am a writer. Not because I write — because I really don’t very much — but because I reside amidst humans. The story is there, being revealed. The question is whether I am a deep writer or a shallow writer. Too often, I am satisfied with the shallow end — just knowing some facts of a person, or a situation, or an event. I really don’t want to know any more than that. I lack curiosity. The story going on around me is written only from my perspective and I really don’t care whether I uncover the story from the perspective of those around me within the story. I am a salmon swimming upstream who only cares about my destination and nothing about those swimming alongside me.
At times I dabble at writing the perspective of others, of listening and writing onto my heart the story they would tell. But it is hard. It takes time. If requires me to give and not take emotion. It requires that I risk getting sucked into their world, their heartache and their emotions. As I read these chapters, I felt the joy of getting deeper into the stories; could tell that this was the way of the true writer/storyteller. But on my own, I fear to lift the rock and see what is underneath; to dive beneath the messy surface of other people. There are monsters in the closets and demons that will demand my soul if I am not careful, guarded, safe.
I have been going to a little group that meets to learn and practice storytelling. I told my first story a couple of months ago and I learned a valuable lesson — I have to dive into the characters in the story; I have to know them and empathize with them and experience what they are experiencing if I am going to pull the audience into the story too. If there is a character that I don’t like, it comes out in the storytelling. That character was underdeveloped and emotionless.
As a coach, a mentor, a spiritual parent — I wonder if the same danger exists. If I don’t enter into the life of the person I am coaching/mentoring/parenting, will the lack of love/care/vision become evident? If I don’t enter their deeper story, what impact can I possibly have? Won’t the story then really be only about me being a coach/mentor/parent, instead of them becoming who God desires for THEM to be?
Kingdom of God November 12, 2009
Posted by erichaynes in Books I'm reading, General, Spiritual Journey, Stories of MyLife.Tags: books, Christ, God, Intimacy, Jesus, Journey, Presence of God, purpose, simplicity, Spiritual Journey, spiritual transformation, Spirituality, Stories of MyLife, Talking with God, worship
add a comment
I wanted to share another resource that I stumbled upon at the library that hits at this same topic of the kingdom of God being in the here and now. The book is entitled Hullabaloo: Discovering Glory in Everyday Life, by Dr. Timothy Paul Jones. Here’s an excerpt off of the back cover:
“At this very moment, you are encountering the Living God. You may not feel it – probably because, like most people, you’re simply trying to get through the day or maybe just the next hour—but you can’t help it nonetheless. Whatever you’re doing, you ARE encountering God because he promises he’ll be with you, guiding you at every ticking moment.”
Reflections on a Garden November 12, 2009
Posted by erichaynes in Books I'm reading, General, Reflections on the Bible, Spiritual Journey, Stories of MyLife.Tags: Bible, Christ, God, Intimacy, Jesus, Journaling, Journey, Presence of God, purpose, Spiritual Journey, spiritual transformation, Spirituality, Stories of MyLife, Talking with God, worship
1 comment so far
This one is for my mom (“Hi Mom!) who may be the only person still watching to see if I write anything…it comes from a discussion at my Tuesday morning men’s group.
Journaling this morning, thinking on a friend’s mentioning of the garden in a great book entitled The Shack, the chaos in the garden that is in my messy, beautiful life. Isn’t it interesting that we beg God to fix our lives, make us whole, change the ugliness inside of us, and make everything orderly, like perfect rows of corn. In the book, the Holy Spirit invites the man to work alongside her in the garden, enjoying the process together, even in the hard work, the aching muscles, the stubborn roots, the rocks that have to be moved, the thorns that cut the hands. Out of this chaos comes beauty and a sense of order that isn’t OUR definition of order, but God’s – an order that still looks chaotic, but beautiful because it takes the chaos and the imperfections and reveals a beauty that is inside of that chaos.
When I go and visit someone else’s garden, I can enjoy and appreciate it, but only on a surface level. If I hire a landscaper to come and make me a garden at my home, I will enjoy it daily, but only to a certain level. But when I create my own garden, working it and getting dirty in it, I come to enjoy and appreciate it even more…it has my fingerprints in it, my personality, my blood, sweat and tears. I enjoy it at an even deeper level.
But then, what if I began to garden with a Master Gardener, who teaches me how to garden, to envision what I couldn’t see before, to bring in new plants and new designs, to use the existing dynamics of my garden in new ways…and He doesn’t just sit back barking orders, but sits down with me and digs the dirt with me, shows me and holds my hands in His grasp. What if He explores what I enjoy and helps me create a garden that reflects that…what if I explored what He knew and discovered a whole new world in my garden. This garden – it would go beyond all my expectations and previous understanding of gardening. And as I walk around that garden, I would see the mistakes I made, the corrections of the Master Gardener, the nuances of this unique creation. I would remember the laughter, the painful moments, the sad moments of plants destroyed, and the joy of new plants blooming. I would remember where we battled the moles together and where we dreamed together. The garden of my life would become less about me, and more about my relationship with the Master Gardener…my life would become His Masterpiece, and in it would be woven His love for me. I believe that God wants to be our mentor…my life is greater because He is teaching me and guiding me.
As I read about the Passover and the betrayal of Christ by Judas, it hit me that Jesus gave His body and blood so that my life may bloom. When I try to garden in my own design, my perfectly ordered rows, then I deny His design and His gift, and I miss out on what could be and the intimacy of being at His side as we garden together. And I got to thinking, was He thinking of ME when He submitted to the Cross? I believe with my whole heart that He did think about me specifically – deeply, intimately, and personally.
Do you believe that He thought about YOU? Not just in general, but about you specifically, deeply, intimately, and personally at that moment?
Sacred Rhythms December 1, 2008
Posted by erichaynes in Books I'm reading, General, Reflections on the Bible, Spiritual Journey, Stories of MyLife.Tags: books, God, Jesus, Spiritual Journey, spiritual transformation, Spirituality
add a comment
Started a new book this past week by Ruth Haley Barton entitled, “Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation.” Not sure why I ordered this one from the library, because I feel like I’ve read a ton of “self-help” books on spiritual transformation and they all start to meld together after a while. I know the basics on spiritual disciplines, whether I practice them or not. But I ordered it from an internal nudge, and I’ve been blown away by just the Introduction at this point.
“While I [Barton] was trying harder and doing more, there was a yawning emptiness underneath it all that no amount of activity, Christian or otherwise, could fill.” (p. 9-10).
“…but this is fundamentally what spiritual transformation is all about: choosing a way of life that opens us to the presence of God in the places of our being where our truest desires and deepest longings stir. These discoveries are available to all of us as we become more honest in naming what isn’t working so that we an craft a way of life that is more congruent with our deepest desires. The journey begins as we learn to pay attention to our desire in God’s presence, allowing our desire to become the impetus for deepening our spiritual journey.” (p. 13)
“Rather it [spiritual friendship] is a relationship that is focused intentionally on our relationship with God as viewed through the lens of desire. With such a friend we share the deepest desires of our heart, so that we can support one another in arranging our lives in ways that are congruent with what our hearts want most. Together we reverence the ways God is meeting us in the context of the spiritual practices that help us to seek him.” (p. 16)
I have been feeling for a while that the pace of my life is beyond who I am or am capable of maintaining. Barton speaks directly to that. But then I was reading God’s Word this morning:
“May [God] keep us centered and devoted to Him, following the life path He has cleared, watching the signposts, walking at the pace and rhythms He laid down for our ancestors.” 1 Kings 8
“He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where He always wanted us to be. And He did it by means of Jesus Christ…Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting Him set the pace, not by proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade.” Romans 3
I’m excited about where God is taking me as I head into the Christmas season.
Where is God taking you?
Eric
