Setting Priorities March 10, 2011
Posted by erichaynes in Family Ministry, Family Stories, General, Reflections on the Bible, Spiritual Journey, Stories of Marriage, Stories of MyLife.Tags: Bible, Christ, Family Ministry, goals, God, Jesus, Leadership, ministry, Priorities, purpose, Spiritual Journey, Spirituality, Stories of MyLife, time management
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To this John replied, “A man can receive only what is given him from heaven.” — John 3:27 (NIV)
In the midst of pressing priorities and daily action steps, there is only so much that can be accomplished. How to choose?
John the Baptist was getting questions about his ministry and what his future priorities should be now that Jesus was out baptizing people. John’s “ministry” was suffering from the new “competition” in town and some of his followers wanted to know what he was going to do about it. John replied, “He [Jesus] must become greater; I must become less.” (Jn 3:30, NIV)
It was not John’s purpose in life to be the Messiah. His purpose was to prepare the way. He knew this and centered his life’s priorities around the purpose that he had been given (by God), not what he had not been given (or what he may have desired for himself). He knew that man could not receive what he had not been given. 
Reading this today caused me to reflect on what have I been given that reveals what God desires for me to be doing, or prioritizing, in my life. I came up with this list, in no particular order:
- God has given me a wonderful wife — love her.
- God has given me three incredible kids — teach them.
- God has given me a passion for kids & families — reach out to them.
- God has equipped me with a set of skills/experiences/gifts — use them to help others.
- God has given me an ability and passion for storytelling — tell His story to those who have never heard it.
- God has given me a body to dwell in — take care of it.
- God has given me more resources than I need — share them with those who need.
- God has given me a community of friends, neighbors, and family — serve and encourage them.
- God has given me freedom from guilt, shame, and self-condemnation — live free!
What has God given to you? Are you living your life out of those gifts, or are you grasping for things that you don’t and can’t have?
Is the Future Hopeful or Fearful? February 23, 2011
Posted by erichaynes in Family Ministry, Family Stories, General, Leadership, Spiritual Journey, Stories of Marriage, Stories of MyLife.Tags: Bible, Family Ministry, fear, God, Intimacy, Journey, Leadership, people, purpose, Spiritual Journey, spiritual transformation, Spirituality, Stories of MyLife
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When you look at your kids, or your parents, or your spouse, or your best friend — what do you see? Do you see someone who has a bright future? Or do you have some fears for the direction they are headed, or maybe about how they make choices, or how they are going to get their head out of the sand and get on with life?
When you look at them — do you feel energized, or depressed/concerned/anxious/angry?
Eugene Peterson wrote in The Message for his introduction to 1st Thessalonnians:
The way we conceive the future sculpts the present, gives contour and tone to nearly every action and thought through the day. If our sense of future is weak, we live listlessly. Much emotional and mental illness and most suicides occur among men and women who feel they they ‘have no future.’
When I look at the people I care most about, I have the power to sculpt their future and their present by what I allow myself to see. If I see them with fearful anxiety, or malice, then I create a snapshot of their present that will affect their future. When I move beyond my fears for and about them, and give voice to how God truly sees them and wants for them, I can begin to affect their present and future. I have the power to give the gift of hope to those I care about the most.
But I have to voice it. I have to take the time to prayerfully consider what God sees in them; what He has created them to be. I have to remove my own selfish desires for them, my own feelings of disappointment in them, and my own anxieties of the unsafe world they exist in, and truly seek God’s vision for them. It will always have Hope in it, even if the journey to that hopeful future includes pain.
So today, will you pray for those you care the most about? Will you ask God to give you His eyes to see them? Will you write down what you see and share it with them?
My wife does this often, particularly as we seek to follow His will for our lives. She has to push past what she sees as my weaknesses (without being blind to them), push past her own fears of our financial security, and push past her natural tendency to see the world as a negative environment for dreams. She has gifted me with several letters over the past few years about her trust in God working through me, her belief in God’s will for me, and her willingness to follow me wherever God leads me. She shares how she values the gifts and leadership I bring to our family and our relationship. And on those days when I feel like I don’t have the strength or the wisdom or the willfulness to press on, I can drag out her letters and read again the hopeful future she sees for me.
I wish I could give this gift to every mom, dad, child, and friend — another person lifting them up towards a hopeful future.
7 Journeys for 2011 February 14, 2011
Posted by erichaynes in Family Ministry, Financial Freedom, General, Leadership, Spiritual Journey, Stories of Marriage, Stories of MyLife.Tags: 7 Journeys, Christ, Family Ministry, goals, God, Grace, Jesus, Journey, Leadership, ministry, nature, people, Presence of God, purpose, small groups, Spiritual Journey, spiritual transformation, Spirituality, Stories of MyLife
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At Shoal Creek Community Church, where I now have taken up vocational residence for all things children and family related, we have our own particular vernacular for detailing the various attributes of the spiritual journey to full devotion in Christ Jesus, called The 7 Journeys. As part of a men’s group that I meet with each Tuesday morning, we have spent the past month talking about each Journey and what our personal “next step” is for each of those important areas of our lives. 
In addition to committing myself to getting my body back into a state of physical health (something that took some hits this past year), I am focusing on the following:
J1 – Earner to Heir: I will give at least half-a-day-a-week to walk with my God in outdoor solitude, and a day of fasting at least once a month, in order to better maintain focus on my beautiful relationship with my Father.
J2 – Self-Hearted to Soft-Hearted: I will spend more time each day exploring the needs of my wife and taking leadership in the growing list of large projects at our home, in order to strengthen my heart, serve my wife, and model servanthood to my children.
J3 – Receiver to Giver: I will take a more active role in discussing Christ with my kids on a weekly basis, and reach out to my neighbors by actively creating connecting opportunities this year.
J4 – Isolation to Community: I will more intentionally build relationships with the men in my Tuesday morning group and Thursday evening small group by connecting (phone, email, or in person) with at least one member each week.
J5 – Consumer to Producer: I will actively develop the art of Storytelling in me by teaching children how to tell stories through a summer camp and school storytelling club, ultimately in order to better teach the greater Story of God to my community.
J6 – Charitable to Extravagant: I will help my children better gain an understanding of the power of giving by guiding them to giving opportunities; and I will give sacrificially to help eradicate the Shoal Creek mortgage.
J7 - Traveler to Guide: I will bring together a team of families passionate about helping families begin the spiritual journey towards full devotion to Christ.
There are some smaller details in the midst of all of these that, hopefully, will help accomplish these “next steps”, but in general, they are the things I know I need to focus on this year. I am excited about the adventure and grateful for the men in my life who will help me, and who I get to help in their journeys as well.
What do YOU need to do this year to move you closer to God?
The Status As it stands Today August 26, 2010
Posted by erichaynes in Family Ministry, Family Stories, General, Spiritual Journey, Stories of Marriage, Stories of MyLife.Tags: Family Ministry, goals, God, Journey, ministry, people, purpose, Spiritual Journey, spiritual transformation, Spirituality, youth
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So, I’m in transition. What does that mean?
It means that after nearly 8 years of working full-time with homeless families, and receiving a steady pay-check, I have reduced my hours there to part-time (2 days a week). In the meantime, the rest of the time will be devoted to serving as the Children’s Ministry Director for Shoal Creek Community Church (over their Sunday morning children’s programming) and launching a brand-new family ministry function that will incorporate some activities that are already being done, with even more intentional activities that are designed to help families grow closer together and with God. Unfortunately, because of a huge mortgage debt on the current building, the church organization is not in a position to pay me. ”That’s alright,” I replied, “I’m so convinced that God wants this to happen, that He’ll provide the resources, even if that means I have to go out and raise it.” Funny, they seemed to jump on that offer pretty quick. :0)
So, there it stood. And God, and some faithful family members, provided. Over $20,000 came into the account at Shoal Creek Community Church to begin funding the effort to launch this family initiative. We need $50,000 total for the first year’s expenses and salary, but we’ve got a start. On August 15th, I officially switched from full-time homeless program director, to part-time there AND part-time family and children’s ministry director. It has been a wild ride already.
Over the past several months, I have been thinking and praying through what this family initiative would look like, and it is starting to coalesce into a clear, but broad picture. That is good, because we need to begin letting people know what it is all about, and what their involvement — both voluntarily and financially — will do in the growth of this effort. More on the current thinking in a later post, but that gives a sense of where my mind is focusing this week.
Where my heart is at can be told better in a story. In KidZone this past week, with our group of 2nd – 5th graders, we asked the question: “do you ever feel like you’ve had to step into a conflict between two people you care about?” I expected more of them to talk about friends at school, but a majority of them talked about their parents. It was gut-wrenching to me, that so many of these kids are having to play peace-keeper between their adult parents, and the pain that they feel when they witness these fights. This is one of the areas that I dream of making a difference, of helping families begin to deal with conflict, to understand how to work through those issues, and to heal their broken relationships. I want to place healthy families in relationship with hurting families and watch flowers begin to blossom. I want to see children smile again when they think of their parent’s relationship.
What would you suggest is a way to help parents build stronger marital relationships? A workshop? A group experience? A marital outdoor challenge event? What would you do to make a difference? I’m looking for all and any thoughts and ideas…thanks.
Eric
